The Unbearable Lightning Of Being
by leradny
Summary: A day in the life of Humanity's Enemy.


**The Unbearable Lightning of Being**

_Note:_ I know the game isn't out yet and this will most likely be incredibly inaccurate once the day comes. Sooo, I'm just playing with the characters' personalities. Mostly, Lightning. Does she kick ass, or does she kick ass?

-

They've managed to get into a hotel for the night. It's one of those cookie-cutter middle class places, where all it takes to get in is Lightning pretending to be Oerba's freakishly tall and very cranky aunt. They reserve two rooms and two nights at first. When Sazh informs them they don't have quite enough money for both, Lightning sighs and rearranges it to one night. They need to keep moving anyway; this is just a ruse to keep the receptionist off his guard.

The bellhop, lifting their luggage with his back instead of his legs, attempts a just-as-clumsy hit on Oerba. Snow pretends not to feel morally insecure when Lightning takes their bags with one arm and the front of the boy's shirt with the other. "Hit on my niece again," she glowers, "And I will castrate you with this _bag._" Hell if they know how she'll do it, but she'll _try_ to; and she'll probably succeed. The bellhop runs away.

"You could be a little less—"

"What?" This time Snow is on the other end of Lightning's glare, and despite the foot of difference in his favor he takes a step back. "_Mean?_"

"Conspicuous," he mutters, though everyone's pretty sure it isn't what he was going to say at first.

"Like I'm not conspicuous enough." She marches up the stairs.

Sazh knows that being interesting (like the drop-dead gorgeous redhead who's insanely protective of her cute little niece, and has her two grown friends to look after as well) somehow makes people less suspicious. Their resident hero has his heart in the right place, but he's got a lot to learn. He doesn't realize that while the staff _will_ be buzzing about this once the bellhop spreads the word, they'll all be forgotten in a matter of hours. Especially since they're only staying for the night.

So he has to listen to Snow grumble about how Lightning's going to get them all killed in their sleep while they get ready to go to sleep, and it's almost enough to make Sazh _want_ to ask Lightning to go easy on people.

-  
The next morning Oerba's voice penetrates the wall, which is thinner than they'd thought. Snow groans, rolls over on his side, and pulls one of the over-stuffed pillows over his head. "What are they _talking_ about? Lightning doesn't _talk._"

"Just get up already," Sazh tells him, knowing those pillows aren't worth a damn for keeping sound out. "You know in a few minutes she'll bust in here calling you a lazy bum or something."

Thanks to the miracle of years of army training, he's up and running. He'd gone about his morning routine quietly, but judging by how easily Snow "woke up", he'd probably just been pretending so he wouldn't be bothered. That's a habit Sazh will have to break, in a way that won't put him on the defensive or secretly turn him on the way Lightning does. (Being a Very Attractive Woman, anything she does is liable to turn on _someone._ Especially the mean things.)

Sazh waits. After trying to ignore both him and the voice coming from the other room, Snow gives up and presses his ear to the wall. "Might as well find out what the hell's got her going… Stupid Oerba and her stupid high voice…"

Surprisingly, Lightning does get a few words in, as the low murmur Sazh can barely hear attests. Snow raises an eyebrow, listens closely while Oerba answers, and then throws himself away from the wall. "Ugh! _Gross!_"

There are a couple bangs on the wall and Lightning yells, "Keep it down!"

"What?" Sazh asks, even though he's pretty sure he knows what they're talking about. Snow flushes, which looks really weird since he almost never remembers to shave, and mutters something. "Oh, was it _girl_ talk?" A sulky nod, and Sazh sighs. "Okay, Snow: I'm telling you nicely to grow the fuck _up_. You live with a woman your age, you're gonna have to get used to it."

"But it's—"

"Or, you know, _not_ listen in on two girls having a conversation. Hell, you got off easy this time! If we shared a bathroom—" Hina wakes up and crawls out of his hair, cheeping for breakfast. "Aww, did I wake you? Sorry, Hina. Daddy'll feed you in a minute."

"I thought it'd be what girls usually talk about. Oerba, like, says something about feeling bad because she's always on the sidelines and doesn't contribute as much as us three, and Lightning is nice to her for once proving that she is, in fact, a woman…" And Snow proves, with the subtlety of a brick through the window, that he has never listened to women talk.

"Well, now you know she's got a uterus."

Snow hurls something at him and misses by about a mile. "Shut up!"

Another bang. "What the hell are you _doing_ in there?"

"Screw it." Sazh gets up and brushes off his clothes. "I'm getting breakfast. What do you want?"

Snow glares at him, and actually gets _back_ into bed. Maybe Lightning's right about him. "How can you _eat?_"

"_Okay..._ If you _really _don't want anything…" Sazh takes a few steps to the door; Snow just pulls the cover over his head. "I'm going out the door now…" Snow mutters something. "I'm knocking on the girls' door…" He knocks on the girls' door. "Hey, Lightning—Oerba! What do you want to eat?"

"Ooh!" Oerba opens the door, not a strand of hair out of place and clothes pitch perfect. "Pancakes, and scrambled eggs. Lots of syrup if you can, please!"

"Ehh… I'll go with you." Lightning runs an ungloved hand through her hair and glances in the mirror before she, too, is ready to go. A quick glance and then she asks, "Where's Snow?" In her head she's probably replaced it with 'that lazy ass.'

"Back to sleep." Sazh rolls his eyes and tells her in an undertone, "Being a little bitch 'cause he heard you and Oerba talking."

"Hnh."

"What's wrong?" Oerba asks. It's only natural she mistakes Lightning's laugh for one of her thoughtful sounds, or annoyed sounds or… something. "Should I check up on him?"

They both shrug. "No. Well, honey, your voice is kind of…" Sazh has to think. "Not… morning friendly…" Hina drops onto his shoulder, providing a good distraction for Oerba.

"Maybe once we're finished eating," Lightning says.

-  
Oerba wakes up to the sound of Lightning zipping up, buckling belts, and pulling on her boots. She lies as still as possible, hoping Lightning won't wake her up, but once she hears the older woman coming closer to her bed she gives up. At the first shake (which isn't as hard as she thought it would be), she opens her eyes.

"Time to get up," is Lightning's usual 'good morning' for everyone except Sazh. Since he wakes up around the same time she does, he just gets a nod. Oerba yawns, sits up, and rubs her eyes before grabbing her day clothes and padding into the bathroom.

After a few minutes she pokes her head out of the door, hair still loose and slightly frizzy. Lightning has her back to the door, or she would have seen, so after a second of steeling herself Oerba clears her throat. "Um… Lightning?"

"What?" She doesn't turn all the way around, just swivels her head to get half a glance. One reddish eyebrow is raised.

"W-well… I've run out of…" Lightning is very hard to talk to when Oerba _isn't_ feeling self-conscious and embarrassed. "See, I didn't really think to bring a lot because I—"

"Spit it out."

"I need pads," she whispers. "Do you have any?"

"I don't," Lightning sighs, and rummages through her bag. "I only have tampons." She takes out one of them and sounds almost like a normal woman when she asks, "Do you just prefer pads or do you need me to—"

"Oh no, no, no! No, I'm fine. I…" Oerba catches the little wrapped package with ease, and without warning her mouth goes on, "I know how to put them in, really, I just—"

She is spared from further talking by a loud thump from the other room and Snow yelling, "_Gross!_"

Quick as her name, Lightning is at the wall between their rooms and pounds on it a few times. "Keep it down!" When there's no answering shout, they conclude Sazh must have clamped a hand over Snow's mouth or knocked him out or something. Lightning shrugs. "Okay, is that all you need?"

"Yeah, _thanks!_"

She ducks into the bathroom and hears a few metallic sounds that are probably Lightning cleaning/sharpening/disassembling her weapon. Then there are a few more weird bangs from both sides of the wall and Lightning yelling, "What the hell are you _doing_ in there?"

Still no answer. Oerba is finished with everything and so is Lightning when there's a proper knock on their door and Sazh's voice. "Hey, Lightning—Oerba! What do you want to eat?"

"Ooh!" Since she's closer to the door, she opens it. "Pancakes and scrambled eggs. Extra syrup if you can, please!"

Lightning sighs and runs a hand through her hair, looking different without her green gloves on. "I'll go with you." She glances at the empty hallway behind Sazh and asks, "Where's Snow?"

"Back to sleep." Sazh rolls his eyes and says something Oerba can't hear, which gets a no-word response.

She decides it's an annoyed sound and asks, "What's wrong?" Snow is grumpy in the mornings, but he'd always managed to get up before she did, at least. "Should I check up on him?" Sazh's baby chocobo Hina drops onto a shoulder, and Oerba doesn't hear the rest because she scoops up the cute yellow animal in both hands.

"Maybe when we're finished eating," Lightning says.

She nods and promises to take care of Hina while they're away.

-  
As always, Lightning takes her coffee black and fresh out of the pot. The mere act of sipping such a brew gathers stares from the suited nine-to-fivers around them, which gets no notice from the redhead herself but amuses Sazh. He, at least, gets a handful of creamers and avoids actually drinking his till they're back at the rooms where no one is there to see.

"See, _now_ I'm worried," he begins.

"About what?" Lightning balances the tray on her right hand and opens the door with her left. Oerba isn't in the room. "Oerba? Where are you?"

"…here," comes the girl's voice from the other room, too thin to get all the way past the heavy door. "…wouldn't stop crying, so I—"

"What, Snow?" they both ask.

"No! Sazh's baby!"

"Right!" Sazh snags a piece of toast from Lightning's tray and opens the other door. "You coming with us or not?"

She shakes her head, and the door closes after her without even a click.

-  
Snow sits up, grumbling as usual. "I bet she's enjoying it, having the room to herself."

"Haven't seen her enjoy anything yet." Really, Snow isn't much better at making friends compared to Oerba, or Sazh himself. He doesn't know how to rein in his emotions so he comes off noble instead of annoying. Sazh understands that the kid is noble, deep down inside, and tries to nudge him towards some level of improvement. Lightning probably does see it herself, but just doesn't want to deal with it. She never was good at having a full load.

"Sazh?" Oerba asks after they finish breakfast and Hina waddles back and forth between their crumb-dripping hands.

"What?"

"You were in the army with Lightning, right? But…" As if she might be betraying the other woman on their team, Oerba stops for a second. "But she's all stony and you're not. How come you turned out all right?"

"Honey, joining the army doesn't mean you turn into a monster. People deal with it different, is all."

They glance at the silent wall, picturing Lightning behind it: Straight back, tray on her lap, and sipping coffee while she waits for the right time for them to leave. The expression on her face is… probably as blank as the wall between the rooms. Sazh remembers when he first saw her, thinking she'd taken to army life well for a young thing—maybe even a little too well.

Someone would give her an order and she'd follow it, quick as…


End file.
